|Babes 'R' Us|
|Season 2, Episode 20|
|Air date||June 23, 1993|
Bedpans & Broomsticks
Beavis and Butt-Head see an ad on TV for Babes 'R' Us, a mud-wrestling joint with hot chicks. The duo seek to train in Butt-Head's back yard before entering, but when they attend, age-limitations rear their ugly heads once more.
- Salt 'n' Pepa - "Push It"
- Bobby Brown - "Humpin' Around"
- Babes in Toyland - "Bruise Violet"
- R.E.M. - "Pop Song '89"
- Butthole Surfers - "Dust Devil" (replaced Babes in Toyland video in later airings)
[We open to Beavis and Butt-Head watching American Gladiators. At one point, it cuts to a shot behind one of the female gladiators backside. Beavis and Butt-Head get closer to the screen and laugh.]
Butt-Head: Butt cheeks!
[They continue to watch the show, until an advertisement comes on, featuring a man with two women in bikinis.]
Chuck E. Cheez: You've heard of us! Now it's time you felt our wrath, gentlemen! Get your slimy buns down here to Babes R' Us for the most intense mud and oil wrestling in the galaxy!
Butt-Head: Whoa! That's cool!
Chuck E. Cheez: Chuck E. Cheez here can't wait to see you! But one question remains to be answered: are you man enough to take on the world's most beautiful women?! WELL ARE YOU, DUDES?!
Butt-Head: Whoa! We've got work to do if we're going to climb all over that!
Beavis: Yeah. "All over"! [He and Butt-Head start doing air guitar riffs.]
[Later, we find the boys making a mud pit in their front yard. They're also wearing bikini tops and are armed with their "Frog Baseball" bats.]
Butt-Head: Gotta get the chops up if we're gonna drill those units down at Babes R' Us.
Beavis: Yeah! [He laughs.]
Butt-Head: [He gets into the mud pit with Beavis.] I'm gonna get ready by kicking your butt all over this hole. Huh huh, "butt-hole"! This is gonna be cool! [He hits Beavis five times with his bat. Suddenly, Beavis grabs Butt-Head, picks him up into the air and slams him face first into the mud. Butt-Head gets up and reaches down his pants.] Hey! Spank your monkey all you want, but keep your hands off of mine!
Beavis: You're dead! [He laughs.]
Butt-Head: No way! [He attacks Beavis and again, and slams Beavis into the mud now.]
Beavis: OW!! BUTT-HOLE!! [He screams while Butt-Head smears his face in the ground. All the while, Daria happens to walk by and notice this.]
Daria: What are you guys doing?
Butt-Head: [He laughs for a second and sings with Beavis.] Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha! Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha! Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha!
Daria: Get a life! What exactly do you call this?
Butt-Head: We're gonna be cool, like the American Gladiators!
Beavis: Yeah! Me too!
Daria: What's with the bikini top??
Butt-Head: We're gonna get a real woman down at Babes R' Us!
Daria: [Responds very sarcastically, as usual.] Oh, they're gonna love you guys. [She then walks away.]
Butt-Head: [He laughs] That was cool. [He turns to Beavis.] Now for the last and most intense move! [He grabs Beavis, puts him into an arm lock and undoes his bikini top.] That was cool! Hope you got that one down, dude!
Beavis: Yeah! [He laughs, then does another air guitar riff with Butt-Head]
[Later that night, they arrive at Babes R' Us. They look on in awe and amazement.]
Butt-Head: Dude, it is the most radical empire of all that is radical. This is cool.
[They look in through the windows to see several women wrestling in the mud, including two women wrestling with Billy Bob. They start headbanging at the sight, then go to buy tickets from the clerk to get in.]
Kelly: Good evening, I'm Kelly! How can I help you tonight?
Butt-Head: Two, please!
Kelly: How old are you two?
Butt-Head: [He suddenly realizes that the club is "Adults Only", and changes his voice to sound older.] Uhh, I mean, uhh, 27!
Kelly: Not tonight, boys! Call me when you get some "pubes", m'kay?
Butt-Head: [He gets ready to punch him.] Don't make me smack you!
Kelly: [He then calls for security...] Oh, Thor! [...which happens to be The Gorilla Boy from "At the Sideshow". He then proceeds to brutally slam Beavis and Butt-Head on the sidewalk and kick them to the curb, while Kelly laughs at them.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, that was not cool.
[Later on, Butt-Head is angrily hitting a street sign with his bat.]
Butt-Head: Come on, Thor! Don't make me shove this thing up your butt! [He then turns to see a girl sitting on a bench.] Uhh, hey, baby. Want to wrestle?
[The girl then pulls out a rape whistle and blows it, and just as quickly, Thor returns to kick Beavis and Butt-Head's asses again.]
When the two boys are mud wrestling they say Diarrhea Cha-Cha-Cha this was cut on reruns
The Babes in Toyland video was replaced with a video with the Butthole Surfers, this was due to fire references in the Babes in Toyland video
- The title of the mud-wrestling club is a parody of "Babies 'R' Us", a infant's store or "Toys 'R' US", a Toy store.