[We open to Beavis and Butt-Head standing next to a vending machine at the local Gas n' Sip.]
Beavis: I'm hungry. I wish we had something big, like nachos.
Butt-Head: Yeah. We need something with a lot of ingredients. Like Sour Cream and Salsa Pork Rinds.
Beavis: [He gets excited upon hearing those words.] Sour Cream and Salsa Pork Rinds?! Where?! Where?!
Butt-Head: [He points at the bag in the machine.] Uhh, right there, dude. Bottom row, F2.
Beavis: Oh yeah. "Pork".
Butt-Head: [He puts change in the machine, then punches the numbers in.] F - 2.
Beavis: "You sunk my Battleship!"
Butt-Head: [He watches as the bag gets closer to the edge.] Come to Butt-Head. [Suddenly, the bag is caught on the glass.] Uhh, wait a minute.
Beavis: Hey-HEY-HEY-HEY!!! [He starts kicking the machine.] NO! NO!!!
Butt-Head: [He tries to get his money back, but can't.] This sucks! [Later on, Butt-Head tries to reach inside the machine's door to grab the bag.]
Beavis: Come on, Butt-Head! Hurry up! I'm hungry! I'm, like, starving and stuff.
Butt-Head: There's, like, a trap-door or something that won't let me get it.
Beavis: [He screams angrily.] GIVE ME THE PORK RINDS NOW!! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!! [He starts punching and kicking the machine again.]
Butt-Head: This sucks! This glass must be, like, plastic or something.
[They go inside to find the manager.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, the vending machine stole our money.
Beavis: Yeah! And it didn't give us our food.
Gas n' Sip Manager: Well, there's nothing I can do about it. You gotta write to the company that owns the machine. There's an address on the side.
[They go back outside and back to the vending machine.]
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis. I just, like, thought of something. Whoever buys the next pork rinds is going to get our bag, plus another.
Beavis: Yeah. Let's wait 'til they come, and then kick their ass!
Butt-Head: No, dumbass! I mean, like, if we get another sixty cents, we could, like, get two for the price of one.
Beavis: Two for the price of one? Cool!
Butt-Head: Uhhh, ok. I'm gonna go, like, get sixty cents. Don't leave here until I get back. And make sure nobody, like, buys anything.
Beavis: Ok. You mean, like, gas too?
Butt-Head: No, fart-knocker! I mean, the vending machine.
Beavis: Oh yeah! The vending machine. [He stays with the vending machine while Butt-Head walks away. Meanwhile, Beavis continues to beat up the vending machine, then a woman walks up.] Uh, hey, how's it goin'?
Woman: Hi. [She walks into the bathroom.]
Beavis: Going to the bathroom, huh? [He turns and gets close to the door.]
[Meanwhile, we cut to the Maxi-Mart where an old lady's fixing to leave. Suddenly, Butt-Head walks up to her.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, I need, like, sixty cents, cause my friend's, like, starving and stuff.
Old Lady: Oh, really? Where is your friend?
Butt-Head: Uhhh, he's, like, overseas or something.
Old Lady: Oh... I've seen those commercials.
Butt-Head: Yeah. Me too.
Old Lady: It's so sad. Here you go. [She hands him a dollar.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, no. I said I need sixty cents, butt-munch!
Old Lady: That's ok. I don't mind giving a little more.
Butt-Head: Uhh, ok.
Old Lady: [She gets in her car, but notices Butt-Head is still there.] Yes?
Butt-Head: Uhh, I thought you said you were going to give me some more.
[Meanwhile, Beavis is still snooping on the woman in the restroom.]
Beavis: [He's giggling softly as he listens in on the woman.] Plop... [He then hears the sound of someone putting money in the vending machine.]
Tom Anderson: Now, where's that dime?
Beavis: [He runs up and slaps Tom Anderson's hands away] NO WAY, ASS-WIPE!!! [He slams himself against the machine.]
Tom Anderson: Dammit, boy! What in the hell's your problem?!
Beavis: Umm, sorry about that. It's, like, out of order. And it's, like, uhh, I'd hate to see you waste your money.
Tom Anderson: Well, alright then. They oughta put a sign up there. Now, what about gettin' my money back?
Beavis: You'll have to write to the company. The address is on the side. Thank you, drive through.
[Back at the Maxi-Mart, Butt-Head walks up the store's owner.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, I need, like, change or something.
Maxi-Mart Owner: Well, you gotta buy something.
Butt-Head: [His attention gets drawn to some nachos.] Whoa! Nachos! How much?!
Maxi-Mart Owner: All I got is some stuff left over from last night. I was gonna throw 'em out, but, pfft! Name your price!
Butt-Head: [He doesn't notice that the nachos are infested with roaches.] Uhh, ten cents?
Maxi-Mart Owner: Ok, you got a deal.
Butt-Head: Cool! Uhh, give me, like, a dozen!
[Back at the Gas n' Sip, Beavis is still standing by the vending machine, beating up on it.]
Beavis: BUTT-HEAD!!! WHERE ARE YOU?! Come on, I'm hungry! I'm, like, gonna die of starvation and stuff! That would be cool. [He turns his head to notice an M&M in the bottom of the machine.] M&M! M&M!! [He reaches inside to pull it out and he eats it.]
[Back at their house, Butt-Head is seen eating the nachos he just bought while watching TV.]
Announcer: Like an old friend; always there.
[He changes the channel.]
Female's Voice: He said he would be right back, Chuck! He just left me standing their by the vending machine! [The audience groans in the background.]
[He changes the channel again.]
Announcer: Hey! Aren't you forgetting something? Sour Cream and Salsa Pork Rinds!
Butt-Head: These nachos rule!
[Back at the Gas n' Sip, Beavis is STILL there!]