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Candy Sale
Season 5, Episode 116
Air date April 8, 1995
Episode guide
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Candy Sale is the 23rd episode in Season 5 of Beavis and Butt-Head. It is the overall the 116th episode.

PlotEdit

The guys are at Highland High School and Coach Buzzcut tells the students that Mr. Candy is here. He tells the students that they will be selling candy bars for the school, so he gives every student a box of candy bars. Beavis and Butt-Head then sell two candy bars to Mr. Anderson. Afterward, Butt-Head buys a candy bar from Beavis, and Beavis does the same (using the same $2.00 from Anderson). They then keep buying each other's candy bars until they're gone. When they get to school, they give the $2.00 to Mr.Candy, who gets angry and tries to beat them up. Coach Buzzcut comes in (announcing that he's the only one who does the "ass kicking" in his class), and Mr. Candy slaps him. This infuriates the hotheaded ex-Marine, who subsequently starts kicking Mr. Candy in the head. The duo cheer for Buzzcut while he easily beats up Mr. Candy.

CharactersEdit

  • Beavis
  • Butt-head
  • Coach Buzzcut
  • Mr. Anderson

TranscriptEdit

[We open to see Beavis and Butt-Head in class, with Mr. Candy at the head of the classroom.]

Mr. Candy: My name is Mr. Candy. My, what a nice looking group of students! Who can tell me what I'm holding in my hand? [He shows everyone a candy bar.]

Butt-Head: Uhh, your nads?

Mr. Candy: No, my right hand.

Female Student: Is it a candy bar?

Mr. Candy: It's more than just a candy bar, it's the future of your school! Now, who'd like a candy bar? [The students react slightly.] Who would like a hundred candy bars?? [They react even greater now.] Because, I have them right here! And I'm planning on giving them to you! But there's a catch. I'm not giving them to you to eat. I'm giving them to you to sell! Selling candy is a fun way to help yourselves and the school!

Coach Buzzcut: Alright, class, listen up! Remember, you're competing against other classes! And I'll be damned if my class is going to lose!

Mr. Candy: Now, our candy bars are designed with your school's name on the wrapper, and they're priced efficiently at $2.00 each! Heck, they practically sell themselves! Now, what if I told you that the richest man- [He's abruptly interrupted by Beavis and Butt-Head.]

Butt-Head: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! BLEH BLEH, BLUUUUH BLEH!

Beavis: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, HECK THEY PRACTICALLY SELL THEMSELVES!

Mr. Candy: Well! You two seem to be real "know-it-alls"! Why don't you tell me what you're going to say when a customer says "no."

Butt-Head: Uhh, I'd say "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, BLUUUUUH BLEH!"

Beavis: BLAAAAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHEN A CUSTOMER SAYS "HEY, YOU SEEM TO KNOW IT ALL!" BLAH BLAH BLAH!

Mr. Candy: Well, I'd wish you luck, but it seems we're out of time.

[Later on after school, they begin selling candy to the neighborhood. They start with Tom Anderson.]

Tom Anderson: Yeah?

Butt-Head: Uhh, we're, like, selling candy.

Beavis: Yeah. Our school sucks.

Tom Anderson: What in the hell kind of sales approach is that? You boys couldn't sell a dollar for fifty cents!

Butt-Head: Uhh, they're $2.00, sir.

Beavis: Yeah, don't try to rip us off, butt-munch!

Tom Anderson: [He looks in his wallet.] Hmm, well I only got $2.00.

Butt-Head: Buy one from me! [He pushes Beavis out of the way, which starts a fight between them.]

Beavis: No way! Buy one from me!

Butt-Head: I'll, like, sell mine for half price!

Tom Anderson: Half price! Well, now you're talking! Here, let me buy one from each of you. Now, if you boys work on your sales approach, I'm sure your school can't afford to lose money.

[They continue their journey to sell candy.]

Beavis: Selling candy sucks!

Butt-Head: Yeah. Hey, Beavis. I'll buy one of your candy bars for a dollar.

Beavis: No way! They're $2.00!

Butt-Head: Uhh, then can you, like, loan me a dollar?

Beavis: No way! Cause then you'll have, like, $2.00, and I'll, like, have none!

Butt-Head: Come on, Beavis! I'll buy one from you, that way you'll sell a candy bar, plus you'll have $2.00.

Beavis: Uhh, ok. [He gives Butt-Head his dollar, then Butt-Head buys a candy bar from him. Then they sit down on the sidewalk.] Come on, Butt-Head! Give me some!

Butt-Head: No way! [He eats his candy bar.] I'll sell you one for $2.00.

Beavis: Ok. [He buys a candy bar from Butt-Head.]

[Later on, we find the two still sitting on the sidewalk, eating all their candy bars.]

Butt-Head: This town sucks! Nobody's gonna buy our candy.

Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head. You should try the one with the peanuts in it. It's pretty good.

Butt-Head: Oh yeah? [He buys another candy bar from Beavis.]

[Later on, the two are back at their home, eating the rest of their candy bars while watching TV.]

Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis. Want to buy a candy bar from me?

Beavis: Ok. [He buys another candy bar from Butt-Head.] You wanna buy one from me?

Butt-Head: Ok. [He buys another candy bar from Beavis.] Selling candy is pretty cool!

[The next day, we see the students giving their money to Mr. Candy.]

Mr. Candy: Excellent job, class!

Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head. You remember that dollar I, like, borrowed to you?

Butt-Head: Uhh, yeah. I remember.

Beavis: Yeah, umm, I kinda want it back.

[Soon enough, they meet up with Mr. Candy.]

Mr. Candy: Well, boys, let's see, the big sellers. How'd you do?

Butt-Head: We sold them all, dude!

Beavis: Yeah, we like, sold every last one of them.

Mr. Candy: Well, maybe there's hope for you yet. [He reaches out to Beavis for the money.]

Beavis: Ahh! Don't touch me, ass-wipe!

Mr. Candy: So, where's the money?

Butt-Head: Uhh, here you go, dude. [Beavis and Butt-Head hand him the $2.00.]

Mr. Candy: That's it?! There had better be a HELL of a lot more money than that, boys!

Butt-Head: Nope. That's it, dude. $2.00.

Beavis: Yeah, you can count the pennies.

Mr. Candy: I don't believe you. I want you to give me everything you have in your pocket!

Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis! He wants what's in your pocket! [He starts laughing.]

Beavis: Yeah! He's a pocket fisherman!

Mr. Candy: Oh, no! You're not gonna pull that one on me again! It took me six months to get another job! Now give me the rest of the money, you little twerp!! [He grabs Beavis by his shirt.]

Beavis: AHHH!!! HE'S TRYING TO TOUCH MY WEINER! LET GO, PERVERT!

Butt-Head: Kick him in the nads, Beavis!

Mr. Candy: You too, you little- [Suddenly, the sound of Coach Buzzcut entering the room is heard.]

Coach Buzzcut: What the hell are you doing?! This is my class! I do the ass-kicking around here! [He jumps between Mr. Candy and Beavis to separate them.]

Mr. Candy: Wait your turn, Jarhead! [He slaps Coach Buzzcut, which really pisses him off now.]

Coach Buzzcut: [He turns red with fury.] YOU JUST MADE A FATAL MISTAKE, MR. CANDY-ASS! I HOPE YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT!

Mr. Candy: Oh, you're going down, soldier boy! [He tries to punch Coach Buzzcut, but Buzzcut proceeds to kick Mr. Candy in the face repeatedly.]

Mr. Candy: [He's in pain and pleading to stop] You're hurting me! OUCH!!!

Beavis: Yeah!! KICK HIM! KICK HIM!

Butt-Head: KICK HIM IN THE BUTT!!

Beavis: KICK HIM IN THE NADS!! [They both laugh as Buzzcut kicks Mr. Candy's ass.]

GalleryEdit

SourcesEdit



Episodes vte
Pilot Frog Baseball · Peace, Love & Understanding
Season 1 Give Blood · Door To Door · Sign Here · Balloon
Season 2 Scientific Stuff · Good Credit · Burger World · Baby Makes Uh, Three · Beware of the Butt · At The Sideshow · Customers Suck · Sick · Home Improvement · Way Down Mexico Way · Way Down Mexico Way Part 2 · At the Movies · No Laughing · No Laughing Part 2 · The Butt-head Experience · Lawn and Garden · Stewart's House · For Better or Verse · Bedpans & Broomsticks · Babes'R'Us · Yogurt's Cool · Heroes · Washing the Dog · Friday Night · Be All You Can Be
Season 3 Comedians · Carwash · Couch Fishing · Incognito · Kidnapped · Kidnapped Part 2 · Naked Colony · Tornado · Cleaning House · Scratch 'N' Win · Scared Straight · Eating Contest · Sporting Goods ·Sperm Bank · Buff 'N' Stuff · Citizen Butt-Head · Citizen Butt-Head Part 2 · Politically Correct · Ball Breakers · Meet God · Meet God Part 2 · True Crime · The Trial · The Crush · Plate Frisbee · Canoe · Young, Gifted & Crude · Foreign Exchange · A Very Special Christmas With Beavis and Butt-head · Closing Time
Season 4 Most Wanted · Wall of Youth · Cow Tipping · Trouble Urinating · Rabies Scare · They're Coming To Take Me Away, Huh Huh · Jump! · Pumping Iron · Let's Clean it Up · 1-900-BEAVIS · Water Safety · Blackout! · Late Night with Butt-head · The Final Judgement of Beavis · Pool Toys · Madame Blavatsky · Beavis and Butt-head's Island · Figure Drawing · Date Bait · Butt is it Art? · Right On · Manners Suck · The Pipe of Doom · Safe Driving · Mr. Anderson's Balls · Patients Patients · Teen Talk · Crisis Line · Beavis and Butt-head vs. the Vending Machine · Generation in Crisis · Radio Sweethearts · The Great Cornholio · Liar! Liar!
Season 5 Held Back · Killing Time · Beard Boys · Choke · Safe House · Hard Sell · Walkathon · Temporary Insanity · Dude, a Reward · Walking Erect · Career Day · Plastic Surgin · Take a Number · Beaverly Buttbillies · Tainted Meat · Stewart Moves Away · Top O' The Mountain · Party · Wet Behind the Rears · Bad Dog · Lightning Strikes · Dream On · Candy Sale · Animation Sucks · What's the Deal? · The History of Women · To the Rescue · I Dream of Beavis · Pregnant Pause · Here Comes the Bride's Butt · Screamers · Beavis, Can You Spare a Dime? · Skin Trade · Oil Change · Buttniks · Bang the Drum Slowly, Dumbass · Another Friday Night · Tired · Close Encounters · Womyn · Premature Evacuation · Whiplash · Spare Me · Patsies · Murder Site · Spanish Fly · Sexual Harassment · Bus Trip · Green Thumbs · Steamroller
Season 6 Bungholio: The Lord of Harvest (Butt-O-Ween) · The Mystery of Morning Wood · U.S. History · Feel A Cop · Date Watchers · Blood Pressure · Huh Huh Humbug · It's a Miserable Life · Babysitting · Vidiots · Stewart Is Missing · Gang Of Two · Sprout · Prank Call · No Service · Yard Sale · P.T.A. · Substitute · Shopping List · Buy Beer
Season 7 Butt, Butt, Hike! · Vaya Con Cornholio · Evolution Sucks · Ding Dong Ditch · Just For Girls · A Very Special Episode · Dumbasses Anonymous · Underwear · Head Lice · Cyber-Butt · Nosebleed · Citizens Arrest · Pierced · A Great Day · On Strike · Follow Me · Nothing Happening · Take A Lap · Shortcuts · Bride of Butt-head · Special Delivery · Woodshop · TV Violence · Canned · Garage Band · Impotence · The Miracle That Is Beavis · Shopping Cart · Inventors · Die Fly, Die! · Drinking Butt-ies · Work Is Death · Breakdown · Graduation Day · The Future of Beavis and Butt-head · Speech Therapy · Leave It to Beavis · Butt Flambé · Our Founding Losers · Beavis and Butt-head Do Thanksgiving · Beavis and Butt-Head Are Dead
Season 8 Werewolves of Highland · Crying · Daughter's Hand · Tech Support · Holy Cornholio · Drones · Supersize Me · Bathroom Break · The Rat · Spill · Doomsday · Dumb Design · Copy Machine · Holding · Used Car · Bounty Hunters · Time Machine · Massage · School Test · Snitchers · Whorehouse · Going Down
See also: Episode List

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