[We open with Beavis and Butt-Head standing outside the Maxi-Mart, but the duo are disappointed to find out that they have only a dollar to their name.]
Butt-Head: This sucks!
Beavis: Yeah. We need money!
Butt-Head: [He then notices a photo-copy store behind them.] Uhh, good thinking, Beavis!
Beavis: Yeah, thanks. You know, it's like, it's pretty cool how, like, a dollar isn't that much, but then it's, like, if you get another one, and then, like, get another one, it's, like, pretty soon you can, like, get some nachos and stuff.
[While Beavis is talking, Butt-Head begins to come up with an idea on how to get more money.]
Beavis: It's like, we need a machine where you can, like, put a dollar in, then get another dollar out. Then you can, like, take that dollar, then put it back into the machine, and then, like, get another dollar- [Butt-Head finally slaps him.] OW!!!
Butt-Head: Shut up, dumbass! I've got, like, an idea.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, me too, that's what I'm saying! See, you gotta listen to me, Butt-Head! It's like, this machine that, like, makes money! [Butt-Head slaps him again.] OW!!!
Butt-Head: [He points to the photo-copy store.] Check it out, Beavis! Our problems have been solved.
[Later, we find the duo walking inside the store.]
Butt-Head: We're gonna be rich! [He turns to the clerk.] Uhh, we need, like, ten copies of this dollar bill. [He hands their dollar to him.]
Clerk: Hey, man. Are you aware that you're asking me to commit a federal crime?
Butt-Head: Uhh, no. It's like, for this one class we're doing for school.
Beavis: Yeah. It's called, uhh, money, uhh... It's called "Money and Chicks".
Butt-Head: [He looks at Beavis, seeming surprised.] That would be cool!
Beavis: Yeah, first the teacher, like, gives us all this money, and then we get to go score with these chicks! It's pretty cool, you should sign up.
Butt-Head: [He realizes Beavis is rambling now.] Beavis!
Beavis: Yeah, and then we score with all the chicks, we get MORE money! And then, like, we get more chicks, cause we have more money, and then we get MORE, MORE, MORE!!! [Butt-Head slaps him yet again.] AHHHH!!!
Clerk: Whatever. You can use those machines in the corner.
[Soon enough, Butt-Head starts making copies of the dollar, while Beavis makes copies of a nickel. Beavis is mesmerized by the copy machine's scanner as it flashes by each time.]
Beavis: [He gets blinded by the scanner.] WHOA!! More! [He gets blinded again.] WHOA!! Money! [He gets blinded yet again.] WHOA!! More!
Butt-Head: [He collects all the copies of the dollar.] This is cool! I can't believe no one's ever though of this before. Check it out!
Beavis: Yeah! Yeah!! WE'RE RICH! WE'RE RICH! MONEY!! MONEY!! MONEY!!!
[They start cutting out their counterfeit money, then return to the Maxi-Mart to start buying things. Beavis notices a woman at the counter.]
Beavis: Hey, check this out. [He picks up a donation jar and walks up to her.] Hey! Check this out! [He shoves his "nickel" into the jar.] I like to help the kids, you know what I'm saying?
Butt-Head: [He notices the woman didn't seem to care for Beavis gesture.] Pretty smooth, Beavis. Why don't you let a real man handle this. [He walks up to the woman, and puts one of his "dollars" in her pocket.] Uhh, hey, baby. Like, uhh, take it off. There's plenty more where that came from. [This causes the woman to hit him with her purse.] Uhh, ow!
Beavis: [He laughs at Butt-Head getting hit by the woman.] Wussy!
Butt-Head: At least she touched me, dill-hole. [He starts grabbing things along with Beavis, but notices Beavis is buying small items.] No, Beavis! Get the big burrito! We're rich!
[They soon walk up to the counter to pay for their items with their "money".]
Butt-Head: Uhh, here you go. [He hands the owner their "money".]
Maxi-Mart Owner: [He begins to examine it closely.] Son, are these counterfeit bills?
Butt-Head: Uhh, why do you ask?
Maxi-Mart Owner: Son, I've got a mind to throw you out of the store.
Butt-Head: Uhh, maybe this will change your mind. [He hands him another "dollar".]
Maxi-Mart Owner: I don't think you understand. I could have the cops in here to bust you!
Butt-Head: [He hands him another dollar, not realizing he put the paper side up.] Uhh, here you go. [He quickly turns it around, thinking he could fool him.] Let's just, like, forget all about it.
Maxi-Mart Owner: Do I look like a moron?! Why don't you get the hell out of my store!
Butt-Head: Uhh... [He hands him yet another "dollar".] Maybe you'd like to reconsider.
Maxi-Mart Owner: [He becomes irate at this point...] GET OUT!!! [...and starts ripping their money up.]
Beavis: [He screams in horror] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! BUTT-HEAD, HE'S RIPPING UP ALL OUR CASH!!!
Maxi-Mart Owner: GET OUT!!!
Butt-Head: Give it back, ass-wipe!
Maxi-Mart Owner: [He sees Beavis trying to tear open the donation jar.] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
Beavis: DAMMIT, I WANT MY NICKEL BACK!!
Butt-Head: Don't worry, Beavis. There's more where that came from.
Beavis: [He stops and remembers where they got their "money" from.] Oh yeah. You can, like, rip up all our money! BECAUSE WE'RE JUST GONNA GET MORE! AND YOU CAN'T STOP US, BUTTHOLE!!
Butt-Head: Yeah! Uhh, we'll be back! [They leave and go back to photo-copy store.]
[But unfortunently, when they get there, they soon realize there's a slight problem with their idea...]
Butt-Head: Dammit, we need, like, another dollar!
Beavis: Yeah, really! That guy tore all ours up!
Butt-Head: No, dumbass! I mean, like, a REAL dollar. We spent all our money on those copies.
Clerk: [He sees the two walk up to the counter.] Yeah?
Butt-Head: Uhh, so like, uhh, can we, like, borrow a dollar? We're like, doing some extra credit work for this one class.
Beavis: Yeah, it's called, uhh, can I... borrow... a dollar... "Can I Borrow a Dollar?" It's about sharing.
Butt-Head: Yeah. Uhh, we'll, like, give it right back.