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Mr. Anderson's Balls
Season 4, Episode 85
Air date July 11, 1994
Episode guide
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Mr. Anderson's Balls is the 24th episode in Season 4 of Beavis and Butt-head. It is the overall 85th episode.

PlotEdit

The guys are walking in a pond looking for a missing kid so they can collect the reward and get there pictures on milk cartons. But then a ball hits Beavis and it turns out to be a golf ball that belongs to Mr. Anderson. So after collecting more balls a golf player pays them a dollar for three golf balls then Butt-head says they should collect balls and sell them. So every time Mr. Anderson hits a ball Beavis and Butt-Head would take it. Then Mr. Anderson told one of his friends that he keeps losing his balls but his friend tells him that two kids are selling some balls so Mr. Anderson buys a few from the boys not knowing there his.

CharacterEdit

  • Beavis
  • Butt-head
  • Tom Anderson

GalleryEdit

Transcript Edit

[We open, as Beavis and Butt-Head walk through a creek, as a golf ball flies past them.]

Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head, like, what the hell are we doing here?

Butt-Head: I told you, dumbass! We're looking for that missing kid.

Beavis: Oh yeah. Uhh, why?

Butt-Head: So that way, we can, like, get our faces on milk cartons and stuff. Then we can get award money for his capture!

Beavis: Oh yeah! That's cool! Money! Money!! MONEY!!! [Beavis is then hit in the head by a flying golf ball, and collapses in the water.]

Butt-Head: Whoa!! Cool! [He reaches into the water to get the golf ball.] Look what I got! "Tit-lee-ist"? [He laughs at what he just read on the ball.] Cool!

[We then cut to Tom Anderson who's looking for said golf ball.]

Mr. Anderson: Excuse me, boys. Y'all seen a golf ball around here?

Butt-Head: [He puts the ball in his pocket.] Uhh, no?

Beavis: Titleeist!

Mr. Anderson: Dammit! Could've sworn it landed around here somewhere! [He continues looking around for it, while Beavis and Butt-Head laugh.]

Beavis: Titleeist! Titleeist! Titicaca!

[Later on, we find the boys have stolen more of his golf balls while they wander around the golf course. They come up on some golfers cleaning their balls in a washing station.]

Butt-Head: Hey, check it out. He's washing his balls!

Beavis: Yeah, I should do that. Check these out. [He pulls some of the balls he stole, which are covered in mud.]

Butt-Head: Beavis! Your balls are filthy! Go to the ball washer, now!

[They go over to the washing station, and Beavis starts cleaning them. As he does, he becomes enamored with the idea of pulling the washer up and down for obvious reasons. As they do so, they overhear the golfers' conversation.]

Golfer: You're pulling your head on every stroke. Let me see your bag. [Beavis and Butt-Head start laughing at that comment.] Here, take your wood and try using a different grip on the shaft. [Beavis starts violently shaking the machine while he laughs hysterically at the comments.] Hey fellas! [Beavis screams as he walks up, shooting the balls everywhere.] I was wondering if you boys had any balls you'd like to sell!

Butt-Head: Uhh, yeah?

Beavis: [He picks up the balls he launched everywhere, handing them over.] Titleeist!

Golfer: I'll give you a dollar for those three! [He hands them money and walks off with the balls in hand.]

Butt-Head: Whoa! We can get rich doing this! We need to get more balls!

Beavis: Yeah! ...Umm, heh, you should've heard what you just said, Butt-Head. You said "We need to get more balls"!

Butt-Head: Oh yeah! [He and Beavis laugh as they go off to steal more golf balls from Tom Anderson. They stop to see a sign reading "Hole 9", which causes them to laugh more.]

Mr. Anderson: [Approaches them out of nowhere.] Now, I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but y'all seen a golf ball around here?

Butt-Head: Uhhh... No?

Beavis: Yeah, no!

Mr. Anderson: Ahh, dammit! Another two strokes penalty! God, and I'm damn near out of balls. These things don't get any cheaper neither!

[Soon enough, they start following Tom Anderson as he continues to play through.]

Butt-Head: This is gonna be cool!

[Tom hits a ball across the fairway, and Beavis and Butt-Head sneak out to steal it when he's not looking. Later, they do it again, this time hiding in a bush, but they stumble over each other once they find it. We then cut to Tom as he's hit his ball in a bunker.]

Mr. Anderson: Dammit! [He then takes out his sand-wedge and hits it out of the bunker and near a creek, where Beavis and Butt-Head prompty snatch it. Tom looks around for it, but can't find it, and he begins to freak out, realizing that was his last ball.] AHHHHHH, DAMMIT!!! DAMMIT!!! DAMMIT!!! [He starts hitting his golfbag with his club, screaming profanity.]

[Later, we find Tom Anderson returning to the lodge, where he meets the golfer the boys met earlier.]

Golfer: What do you say, Tom! How'd you hit 'em?

Mr. Anderson: Boy, I tell ya what, Dusty! I felt like a one-legged cat trying to bury turds on a frozen pond out there today, and I still got three holes to go!

Golfer: So what the hell you doing up here??

Mr. Anderson: Hell, I'm completely out of balls! I lost every damn one of them! Craziest thing I ever saw!

Golfer: Well, don't waste your money in the pro-shop. There's a couple of kids over there selling balls real cheap!

[We cut to Beavis and Butt-Head, selling all of Tom's balls to other golfers.]

Butt-Head: Uhh, they're really good balls!

Beavis: Yeah, and they fit right in the hole.

Mr. Anderson: What you got there, fellas?

Butt-Head: Balls!

Beavis: Yeah! One dollar!

Mr. Anderson: [He takes one of them from Beavis, and notices they look like the ones he lost.] Hey, now wait a minute! These look kinda familiar!

Butt-Head: Many balls look the same, sir.

Beavis: Yeah. I have two that are identical!

Mr. Anderson: [He sighs.] A dollar each, you say, huh? Damn! [He starts paying them and takes his own balls back.]

Butt-Head: These things ain't getting any cheaper.

SourcesEdit



Episodes vte
Pilot Frog Baseball · Peace, Love & Understanding
Season 1 Give Blood · Door To Door · Sign Here · Balloon
Season 2 Scientific Stuff · Good Credit · Burger World · Baby Makes Uh, Three · Beware of the Butt · At The Sideshow · Customers Suck · Sick · Home Improvement · Way Down Mexico Way · Way Down Mexico Way Part 2 · At the Movies · No Laughing · No Laughing Part 2 · The Butt-head Experience · Lawn and Garden · Stewart's House · For Better or Verse · Bedpans & Broomsticks · Babes'R'Us · Yogurt's Cool · Heroes · Washing the Dog · Friday Night · Be All You Can Be
Season 3 Comedians · Carwash · Couch Fishing · Incognito · Kidnapped · Kidnapped Part 2 · Naked Colony · Tornado · Cleaning House · Scratch 'N' Win · Scared Straight · Eating Contest · Sporting Goods ·Sperm Bank · Buff 'N' Stuff · Citizen Butt-Head · Citizen Butt-Head Part 2 · Politically Correct · Ball Breakers · Meet God · Meet God Part 2 · True Crime · The Trial · The Crush · Plate Frisbee · Canoe · Young, Gifted & Crude · Foreign Exchange · A Very Special Christmas With Beavis and Butt-head · Closing Time
Season 4 Most Wanted · Wall of Youth · Cow Tipping · Trouble Urinating · Rabies Scare · They're Coming To Take Me Away, Huh Huh · Jump! · Pumping Iron · Let's Clean it Up · 1-900-BEAVIS · Water Safety · Blackout! · Late Night with Butt-head · The Final Judgement of Beavis · Pool Toys · Madame Blavatsky · Beavis and Butt-head's Island · Figure Drawing · Date Bait · Butt is it Art? · Right On · Manners Suck · The Pipe of Doom · Safe Driving · Mr. Anderson's Balls · Patients Patients · Teen Talk · Crisis Line · Beavis and Butt-head vs. the Vending Machine · Generation in Crisis · Radio Sweethearts · The Great Cornholio · Liar! Liar!
Season 5 Held Back · Killing Time · Beard Boys · Choke · Safe House · Hard Sell · Walkathon · Temporary Insanity · Dude, a Reward · Walking Erect · Career Day · Plastic Surgin · Take a Number · Beaverly Buttbillies · Tainted Meat · Stewart Moves Away · Top O' The Mountain · Party · Wet Behind the Rears · Bad Dog · Lightning Strikes · Dream On · Candy Sale · Animation Sucks · What's the Deal? · The History of Women · To the Rescue · I Dream of Beavis · Pregnant Pause · Here Comes the Bride's Butt · Screamers · Beavis, Can You Spare a Dime? · Skin Trade · Oil Change · Buttniks · Bang the Drum Slowly, Dumbass · Another Friday Night · Tired · Close Encounters · Womyn · Premature Evacuation · Whiplash · Spare Me · Patsies · Murder Site · Spanish Fly · Sexual Harassment · Bus Trip · Green Thumbs · Steamroller
Season 6 Bungholio: The Lord of Harvest (Butt-O-Ween) · The Mystery of Morning Wood · U.S. History · Feel A Cop · Date Watchers · Blood Pressure · Huh Huh Humbug · It's a Miserable Life · Babysitting · Vidiots · Stewart Is Missing · Gang Of Two · Sprout · Prank Call · No Service · Yard Sale · P.T.A. · Substitute · Shopping List · Buy Beer
Season 7 Butt, Butt, Hike! · Vaya Con Cornholio · Evolution Sucks · Ding Dong Ditch · Just For Girls · A Very Special Episode · Dumbasses Anonymous · Underwear · Head Lice · Cyber-Butt · Nosebleed · Citizens Arrest · Pierced · A Great Day · On Strike · Follow Me · Nothing Happening · Take A Lap · Shortcuts · Bride of Butt-head · Special Delivery · Woodshop · TV Violence · Canned · Garage Band · Impotence · The Miracle That Is Beavis · Shopping Cart · Inventors · Die Fly, Die! · Drinking Butt-ies · Work Is Death · Breakdown · Graduation Day · The Future of Beavis and Butt-head · Speech Therapy · Leave It to Beavis · Butt Flambé · Our Founding Losers · Beavis and Butt-head Do Thanksgiving · Beavis and Butt-Head Are Dead
Season 8 Werewolves of Highland · Crying · Daughter's Hand · Tech Support · Holy Cornholio · Drones · Supersize Me · Bathroom Break · The Rat · Spill · Doomsday · Dumb Design · Copy Machine · Holding · Used Car · Bounty Hunters · Time Machine · Massage · School Test · Snitchers · Whorehouse · Going Down
See also: Episode List

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