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Take A Lap
Season 7, Episode 178
Air date March 28, 1997
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Take A Lap is the 18th episode in Season 7 of Beavis and Butt-head. It is the 178th episode overall.

PlotEdit

The duo is watching a commercial add for Mega Bulk a food that will make you bulk in no time. So Beavis and Butt-head call but Butt-head hangs up because they wanted credit cards and checks. Then they decide to go to Stewart's House where they create their own Mega Bulk out of disgusting ingredients Stewart asks if he can join but Butt-head says he's too fat. After they try it Beavis spits it out and says this sucks but Butt-head says they have to if they want to score. Just then, Stewart's mom comes home in the driveway heard and the boys hurry out of the house before getting caught. Back at home the aggressive man Peter Small from the commercial is exercising while Beavis is dancing and Butt-head is just standing so they say this sucks so they decide to go jog. But they jog weirdly and stop after a few jogs. So they decide to head home then they fight over who's going to take a dump first not realizing they're exercising. Back at home again Butt-head is taking a dump and Beavis is watching TV. Butt-head comes out and a news reporter says that Peter Small, from the Mega Bulk commercial collapsed and died from stress brought on to the lower bunghole. After that, Butt-head says exercise sucks with Beavis agreeing as well implying they will never exercise again, and Butt-head says just sitting on the couch is cool.

CharactersEdit

Transcript Edit

[We open to the duo watching an infomercial featuring aggressive bodybuilding guru, Peter Small, standing next to a female model.]

Peter Small: You want to know why you can't get yourself a woman? I'll tell you why! YOU'RE WEAK, FRAIL, AND YOUR PATHETIC BUTT IS SAGGING!!! But today is your lucky day, because with my new workout program, you too can get a body just like me! [He rips off his shirt, revealing his massive build.] MONSTER PECS, SIX-PACK, AND CHECK OUT THESE CHEEKS!!! [He points to his ass.]

Butt-Head: Cool!

Beavis: Yeah!

Peter Small: So, get up off your slimy duffs and start exercising! But exercise alone will not get you a body like mine, that's why you need to get on the phone, and order your 30-day supply of Mega Bulk, filled with fiber, bran, egg-whites, and an arsenal of protein packed vitamins! Mega Bulk will have you packing on muscle mass in no time! [Beavis and Butt-Head start laughing, thinking they can make their butts look cool now.] SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!? PICK UP THE PHONE!!! COME ON!!! DO IT, DO IT NOW!!! [As he screams at the camera, the caption "555-BULK" flashes on the screen. Beavis and Butt-Head go get the phone to call.]

Butt-Head: Uhh, hello? We want cool butts! ...Uhh, no? ...Uhh... No. Yeah, well, you suck! [He quickly hangs up the phone.] That dude wanted, like, a whole bunch of checks and credit cards and stuff.

Beavis: Maybe there's some stuff over at Stewart's house we can use.

[We then cut to Stewart's house, where the duo is seen tearing through Stewart's kitchen, adding all sorts of disgusting items to their "Mega Bulk".]

Stewart: Hey, can I be strong like you guys?

Butt-Head: Uhh, no. You're, like, already too fat.

[Soon enough, the duo finish adding their "ingredients", mostly junk food, to the blender, then turn it on, which makes a huge sloppy mess.]

Butt-Head: Uhh, oops!

Beavis: That's ok, Stewart will clean it up.

Butt-Head: Yeah. [He then pours to "drinks" for them.] Here's to our butts!

Beavis: Yeah, and our weiners! [He then drinks his "Mega Bulk", but spits it out after tasting the rancid flavor.]

Butt-Head: Come on, dumbass! You want to score, don't you? [He chugs his, and Beavis eventually finishes his as well. They then hear Mrs. Stevenson pull in the drive-way.] Uhh, we, like, better get going, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah! [They quickly get out of there before she walks through the front door.]

[We then cut back to their house, where they are seen watching Peter Small's exercise infomercial again, this time during one of his workout sessions.]

Peter Small: TOUCH YOUR TOES!!! NOW, UP! DOWN! UP! DOWN! [He demonstrates the exercise, while Beavis and Butt-Head are not even able to properly do the exercise.] NOW, CIRCLES WITH YOUR HANDS!! [He performs an arm circle exercise very aggressively.] SMALL, SMALL, SMALL, CIRCLES WITH YOUR HANDS!!! CIRCLES WITH YOUR HANDS!!! SMALL!!! SMALL!!! SMALL!!! CIRCLES WITH YOUR HANDS, AND DON'T FORGET TO JOG!!! [Beavis and Butt-Head are now doing air guitar moves instead and become very tired.]

Butt-Head: This sucks! Let's, like, go exercise outside, or something!

Beavis: Yeah! WOO!!! [They both go outside to go for a jog.]

Butt-Head: Alright, ready? Go! [They start running, but after about 3 seconds of light jogging, they're already winded and stop completely.] Jogging sucks!

Beavis: Yeah, I'm not feeling too good.

Butt-Head: Yeah, really. I gotta take a dump from all that Mega Crap stuff we drank.

Beavis: Yeah. I gotta go bad! [He gets ahead of Butt-Head.] I'm going first!

Butt-Head: No way, butt-munch, I'm going first! [He punches Beavis and starts running.]

Beavis: [He punches Butt-Head and runs faster.] NO WAY, DAMMIT!

Butt-Head: [He chases after Beavis down the road.] DAMMIT, BEAVIS! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

[Later, we find out Butt-Head beat Beavis home. The sound of explosive diarrhea can be heard from the bathroom, followed by the sound of the toilet flushing.]

Butt-Head: [He comes out of the bathroom.] Hey, how's it going?

[Suddenly, a news report comes on, featuring Peter Small once again.]

Beavis: Oh no, not this butt-munch again!

Newscaster: Workout and body-shaping fitness guru, Peter Small, collapsed and died today during the taping of one of his infomercials. The coroner's officer has stated that the death was caused by heart failure due to extreme strain on the lower bunghole.

Butt-Head: Exercising sucks! Just sitting here is better.

Beavis: Yeah, really!

GalleryEdit

SourcesEdit



Episodes vte
Pilot Frog Baseball · Peace, Love & Understanding
Season 1 Give Blood · Door To Door · Sign Here · Balloon
Season 2 Scientific Stuff · Good Credit · Burger World · Baby Makes Uh, Three · Beware of the Butt · At The Sideshow · Customers Suck · Sick · Home Improvement · Way Down Mexico Way · Way Down Mexico Way Part 2 · At the Movies · No Laughing · No Laughing Part 2 · The Butt-head Experience · Lawn and Garden · Stewart's House · For Better or Verse · Bedpans & Broomsticks · Babes'R'Us · Yogurt's Cool · Heroes · Washing the Dog · Friday Night · Be All You Can Be
Season 3 Comedians · Carwash · Couch Fishing · Incognito · Kidnapped · Kidnapped Part 2 · Naked Colony · Tornado · Cleaning House · Scratch 'N' Win · Scared Straight · Eating Contest · Sporting Goods ·Sperm Bank · Buff 'N' Stuff · Citizen Butt-Head · Citizen Butt-Head Part 2 · Politically Correct · Ball Breakers · Meet God · Meet God Part 2 · True Crime · The Trial · The Crush · Plate Frisbee · Canoe · Young, Gifted & Crude · Foreign Exchange · A Very Special Christmas With Beavis and Butt-head · Closing Time
Season 4 Most Wanted · Wall of Youth · Cow Tipping · Trouble Urinating · Rabies Scare · They're Coming To Take Me Away, Huh Huh · Jump! · Pumping Iron · Let's Clean it Up · 1-900-BEAVIS · Water Safety · Blackout! · Late Night with Butt-head · The Final Judgement of Beavis · Pool Toys · Madame Blavatsky · Beavis and Butt-head's Island · Figure Drawing · Date Bait · Butt is it Art? · Right On · Manners Suck · The Pipe of Doom · Safe Driving · Mr. Anderson's Balls · Patients Patients · Teen Talk · Crisis Line · Beavis and Butt-head vs. the Vending Machine · Generation in Crisis · Radio Sweethearts · The Great Cornholio · Liar! Liar!
Season 5 Held Back · Killing Time · Beard Boys · Choke · Safe House · Hard Sell · Walkathon · Temporary Insanity · Dude, a Reward · Walking Erect · Career Day · Plastic Surgin · Take a Number · Beaverly Buttbillies · Tainted Meat · Stewart Moves Away · Top O' The Mountain · Party · Wet Behind the Rears · Bad Dog · Lightning Strikes · Dream On · Candy Sale · Animation Sucks · What's the Deal? · The History of Women · To the Rescue · I Dream of Beavis · Pregnant Pause · Here Comes the Bride's Butt · Screamers · Beavis, Can You Spare a Dime? · Skin Trade · Oil Change · Buttniks · Bang the Drum Slowly, Dumbass · Another Friday Night · Tired · Close Encounters · Womyn · Premature Evacuation · Whiplash · Spare Me · Patsies · Murder Site · Spanish Fly · Sexual Harassment · Bus Trip · Green Thumbs · Steamroller
Season 6 Bungholio: The Lord of Harvest (Butt-O-Ween) · The Mystery of Morning Wood · U.S. History · Feel A Cop · Date Watchers · Blood Pressure · Huh Huh Humbug · It's a Miserable Life · Babysitting · Vidiots · Stewart Is Missing · Gang Of Two · Sprout · Prank Call · No Service · Yard Sale · P.T.A. · Substitute · Shopping List · Buy Beer
Season 7 Butt, Butt, Hike! · Vaya Con Cornholio · Evolution Sucks · Ding Dong Ditch · Just For Girls · A Very Special Episode · Dumbasses Anonymous · Underwear · Head Lice · Cyber-Butt · Nosebleed · Citizens Arrest · Pierced · A Great Day · On Strike · Follow Me · Nothing Happening · Take A Lap · Shortcuts · Bride of Butt-head · Special Delivery · Woodshop · TV Violence · Canned · Garage Band · Impotence · The Miracle That Is Beavis · Shopping Cart · Inventors · Die Fly, Die! · Drinking Butt-ies · Work Is Death · Breakdown · Graduation Day · The Future of Beavis and Butt-head · Speech Therapy · Leave It to Beavis · Butt Flambé · Our Founding Losers · Beavis and Butt-head Do Thanksgiving · Beavis and Butt-Head Are Dead
Season 8 Werewolves of Highland · Crying · Daughter's Hand · Tech Support · Holy Cornholio · Drones · Supersize Me · Bathroom Break · The Rat · Spill · Doomsday · Dumb Design · Copy Machine · Holding · Used Car · Bounty Hunters · Time Machine · Massage · School Test · Snitchers · Whorehouse · Going Down
See also: Episode List

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